The illness that won the war.. - @IAmGearyAndre

Me and depression go way back like we knew each in our past life

Everyone has a chapter they don’t read out loud.

I’ve been so close to the pad I can read between the lines literally.

Tears done fell down so much in the dark the puddle should show a reflection of my true self.

Each line has a story behind it.

I wake up sweating from running from depression in my sleep..

The dream seems to never end.

I’m a hamster on the wheel, trying to run from my own mental.

I’ve thought about the afterlife.

Oddly enough not even how I would die just fast forwarding to the point where I’m finally at peace.

I walked by a cemetery on my way to work and imagined myself in their place.

Role reversal..it’s sad that a 23 year old kid is thinking about this..

My life is at a stand still w/ no breakthroughs.

It’s like walking thru the motions everyday.

The support system usually is the ones who you don’t even know who show the most interest in your business or ideas.

Instead everyone just wants free things.

I choose to live in my own world.

They say keep fighting it and find other outlets..

But they never tell you how long to keep fighting for.. similarly to how they never tell you about real life things in school

but want you to know how to add equations that you may never use.

What round am I in? Seems like the devil and his friends are substituting to keep pushing me to the edge

I realized that half the time me caring about most things are dead..

I wish it wasn’t too late to give up..

I’m paying for things I have no control over.. currency can’t buy depression out.

Depression living rent free..

This is the illness that won the war..

This Letter Was Never Sent - @cierraanise

Dear you,

Stop apologizing, she's forgiven you a while ago. No need to be mad at yourself anymore, you're home, & you're trying. She's not asking because she doesn't need anything, she doesn't want to see the look on your face or hear the disappointment in your voice when you can't provide. You have enough, your presence was there while you weren't. She's not mad anymore, she doesn't have any resentment towards you. She says you tell her you're getting sick, & you need help. She wants you to know she's here for you, it doesn't seem like it but she has a weird way of showing you she's behind you. Focus on cleaning up, rebuild yourself, she's giving you time to worry about your health rather than hers. Your little girl is fine. She's gotten so big now, working, dancing, applying to schools, she's going somewhere you know!! Don't worry, you didn't miss anything, no major milestones, you haven't missed any at all. She still thinks about you, she hasn't forgotten you, she wonders and worries every day. Do you know you're the one pushing her the most. She doesn't say it or speak on it but I know she's thinking it. She's never said she's mad, she's hurt but she's been doing a lot better now. Or at least better at masking her feelings. She still loves you as much as her 7 year old self. She tells me she gets flashbacks of seeing you in you in that jumpsuit, she hates those. She thinks of the glass and the phone, I don't think she'll forget that. I can't tell she's been trying to move forward but it's hard for her. She's been avoiding you because she's afraid of having that conversation, she doesn't want to get all emotional in front of you. She's unintentionally built a wall that she wants to get rid of but she doesn't know how to. She's grieving but she won't let you see it. She wants you to be okay and doesn't want you to feel low, because to her you're still her super man. That never left her mind.

Sincerely, "she".